Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
