apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
