Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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