I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
ok first of all what the fuck
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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