we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
