Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
