just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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