I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Randomize
