she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
