I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
