he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
