my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
