so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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