I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
