Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
