do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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