So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
