Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It's official drugs can't kill me
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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