Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
