Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
vagina is talking i cant
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
