yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
