Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
