i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize