Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
please come you make the beer taste better
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
