My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
