If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
