Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
