Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
