We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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