By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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