I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
