wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Randomize
