He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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