Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
