Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
