My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
