Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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