we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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