He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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