i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize