By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
