Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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