What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize