i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Panties = found
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
