did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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