Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
