His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
