So gin and wine won't be happening again
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
