dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
