How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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