It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I am naked and annoyed.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize