Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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