I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
