A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
