We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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