ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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