im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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