sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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