i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
