Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
