8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
