drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I need water and some morals
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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