Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
